( Welcome to, a series that explores the weird and wild world of direct-to-video sequels to theatrically released movies. In this edition, things get dirty with inappropriately seductive women, idiotically horndog men, and venomous plants in name only.) I didn’t intentionally make the title of this week’s column sound like a math problem, but if it’s any consolation the films we’re looking at today require very little in the way of heavy thinking. This is purely fluff cinema designed for film fans drawn to naughty women, worse men, and flora taxonomy. Poison Ivy didn’t exactly set the world ablaze back in the early 90s — it cost $3 million and earned even less — but it found a home on VHS and pay cable meaning it remained in the public consciousness long after its theatrical run would have suggested it be forgotten.

That awareness was enough of a reason to justify not one, not two, but three direct to DVD sequels of wildly varying quality. (The last film premiered on TV but was immediately followed by a DVD release featuring five minutes of extra footage in the form of T&A.) All four films, the entire quadrilogy if you will and I know you will, are now available in a box set from Scream Factory, so it seemed like the perfect time to dive right in and see what these sequels had to offer. Turns out the answer is skin, morally bankrupt men, and a very specific manner of death. The Beginning Sylvie is a bit of an oddball teen made even shyer by a bed-ridden mother she’s incapable of connecting with. When she spots Ivy at a popular hangout spot for mute teens it’s with a recognition of both disdain and envy — here’s someone who looks slutty but also appears carefree — and the two become fast friends to the point that Ivy essentially moves into Sylvie’s house. It soon becomes clear, though, that Ivy is a master manipulator capable of seducing all three family members in different ways and with deadly results. She woos Sylvie, sleeps with her father, and pushes mom out a window.

You might say Ivy is poisonous to this family’s happiness and well-being. I’m not saying it, but you might. The DTV Plot. Poison Ivy 2: Lily (1996) introduces Lily, a young woman who’s new in town and lonely but who meets new people through her art class, shared apartment, and babysitting job. She’s a shy virgin prone to daydreams scored by Enigma, but she begins to open up after discovering Ivy’s diary — yes that Ivy but played by someone else in Lily’s nude visions of her — detailing her own blossoming approach to self-image and seduction. Ivy’s words have an effect on her, and soon she’s cutting her hair, boning the lead singer of The Oneders, and unintentionally arousing her pervy teacher. She also catches the attention of her mute, eyebrow-less flatmate, and with three men eyeballing her derriere things are bound to get really sticky really fast.

Poison Ivy: The New Seduction (1997) opens in the mid-1980s with 9-year-old Ivy and her younger sister Violet playing in a mansion where their mother works as a maid. Mom’s having an affair with the man of the house and shtupping the pool boy on the side, but her naked shell game implodes on discovery sending her and her daughters back out into the world. Violet returns to the house 11 years later for revenge and follows in her dead sister’s sexy footsteps by building a friendship, banging the older man, and intentionally causing discontent and trouble while wearing someone else’s clothes (or no clothes at all).

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